busy life

why busy life..haha actually xla sgt, sempat je habiskn korea drama tapi xckup study, tu la xstudy ag haha.. sejak jd leader small group surgery ni byk emo, dh plak tu jd leader group keusahawanan xminat tp nk wat cmne hasil cabutan undi..terima tapi hati xrela..camne tu, tapi sebabkan kawan2 ni. paksa diri ni gk la..emm sekarang dah jarang lepak2, enjoy, outing..kawan2 pn busy ngn hal masing2.. nak ajak dworg pn susah, I know len org len way dworg handle life.. to me, kalau pape pn tetap utamakn dworg..klu dworg mntak tlog pn, sgt susah nk tolak even though I have lots of work to do..huhu actually saje nak tuggu masuk subuh, tido time skrg nanti t'lajak plak hehe.. k

miss my blog mmmuah!! hehe

my dear blog!! miss u..so long not to write, hua3 getting busy day by day n internet slow, hmm i almost finish my medical posting, lots had learn, lots to revise.. at the end this posting, I realize, i'm still need to improve.. huhu going to miss dr.joseph..nice sporting dr, happy under his supervision, he said to me, I need to improve my knowledge, not enough just brave only, I know sometime confident answer but if don't know, what can say..agree with dr, I really 3X need to improve n so my communication in English, seem like know to write but not fluent in speaking haha I wish I can talk like in debate,
hmm sometime I'm bored to watch movie, shopping..why? because I'm always enjoy shopping and play during pre-clinical till i'm bored with those thing hahaha seem like funny right?..this moment my mind think to increase my knowledge, hope this spirit will rise forever..
yes!!! welcome to surgical posting... how study? how to start? my mind think...think..think how the easiest, interesting way to study so by then I've enough time to cover everything..haaaah who want to be group leader. they point to me..what?? I'm still afraid, not confident.hmm how to throw out these thing, within this day, I try my best...huhu
Aja!! Aja!!

my studymate

about 2 years ago, I had a friend who I liked very much to study with..we spend lots of time tgether, she helped me, so did I..as time being, I wondered how we could change in clinical year..are we can still study tgether.. nowadays, I don't know whether she change or I change..she ignored my calls n also my msg..emm sometime wonder why...I really don't want to have competition with her..I don't know about her..
yeay! I know I'm quite, not talkative..mix emotion hahaha
miss her....lets continue study..actually I care so much about her...but bcz of a thing, I'm afraid to care..

lepas ni malas dah nak layan perangai manja ko!!!

aku pelik sgt nape roomate ak tu marah gler pdahal benda kecik jek sal tido.. yang die nak membebel xtahan la da byk bersabar selama ngn ak selama 2 thn..emm pelik gk ak, apa yang ak dah wat kat die sampai die kna bersabar??? penat ak putar2 balik..ak xkacau pun life die,nak kata die rapat..jarang r..smbag? jarang gak..ak buli die? xpenah pun, lagi malas nak cakap ad la..ish3 pelik ak ngn dak tu... salah die gak, klu xpuas aty..ckp la awal2..klu sal tido die, ckp la pe nye..xbleh bising smpai semut jln pn xleh dgr ke..ckp je la..klu semut jln pn xleh dgr, ko sediakan la wall yg serap bunyi keliling ko..haaa senang kan..bg ak, ak cool jek, pandai2 la nak adjust diri..xkan la aku nak perhatikan ko 24 jam..walaupn ak xtye pape pn, at least ckit2 ak amik taw gk..da tggungjwb ak sbgi roomate...so please la jgn manja sgt..da besar la, ad mulut ckp, ad otak fikir la..
lepas ni mlas la nak layan sgt perangai ko yg manja terlebih..baru roomate sorg da bising xtahan.. ak yg da byk tahun 19 roomates pn xs'bising ko...
time sahur bln ramdhan sepatutnya k'sabaran tu tinggi la, ni x..mse tu gk nk lepas marah...haha ak xkisah pn la ko nak benci ak ke..tp cam xlogik jek marah2 sbb tido ko..haha ak rse ko mmg sgt kelakar, bnda remeh je kot...
pg tu, ak mmg xcdang nak tido pn..ak bca buk, lepak, tgk laptop..die plak blik lmbt, tido la awal dh taw penat..ni x, pegi smbag2..then susah nak tido, marah ak plak.. die start duk atas katil lame gk, kn kalo da penat sgt senang je la tido... ak pn xde la rajin nk tgk kot romate tu da tido, cm xbetoi jek..ak pn kol la mmbe ak, lame gk smbag2 dr 2.30 smpi kul 3.15..tu la ak sorg je kot, suara ak xde la nyaring benor....lpas tu ak sambung wat keje ak..
then lam kul 4 lbih die bgn, p kuar bilik kot...msuk tido..kul 5 cmtu ak ttup la lampu, lgpn ak da biase nak study bkak lmpu beso..ak xkisah pn la klu die nak study wat cmtu..ak kn flexible, xdela manja cam k0o..
cadang nak sahur la..then masuk balik, tgk die bkak lampu..k fine la sahur je la..tp dgn muka yg xpuas hati, tgk cara jln..fuh marah gler kot..bising ckp xleh tdo hahaha.. ak pnye la concern tye salah ak ke.. fuh ayat die kuar maki2..hahaha..xkisah pn la nak benci..tp marah sbb tido..hahaha ko fkir la sndri..klu penat,xyah la p jln2, tido je la..ni dh penat marah org plak..
korg bising dekat ngan telinga ak xkisah pn, mmg la nak marah tp normal la tu duk same2 kawan..klu nak sedap tdo, p balik umah, umah ko kn dekat...ulang alik kan senang..hahaha...
ak wat tu pn ari minggu, at least ko bleh la qada' tido ko tuh..hahaha korg bising time sok nak kelas, ak xmarah pn..still cool jek walaupn xpuas aty...
ak malas dah nak fikir sal ko... lepas ni lantak ko..dah besar kot, ak pn nak jga aty ak gk..at least ak da try kan tggungjwab ak..
P/s utk diri ak..just let it go, not your fault pn..wat pe nak fikir sgt..fikir yg penting jek, if die ad lam bilik wat xtaw jek...ak xkco die pn..hahahaha just be happy, aja!aja! fighting!

It start again

last 2 week..during my first time in kajang, a sweet looking practical student from segi approached me, huhu get to know bout me.. I though it's o.k maybe she liked to ask new comers but of course my mind kept thinking bout her sometime.. A 2nd time we accidentally met, she smiled at me..looked interested making friend with me..
a week maybe twice or thrice we bang each other..huhu so long I don't feel like this, actually I'm also interested to know about her..
One day, I approached her asked her phone number then she said this was d last week she had duty in that ward..maybe we can't met again..aish!!! nape la ak xtgur die awal2, klu x, sure we had best memory to kept..
now..when I went to kajang, I hope to see her again..miss her..ceeh!! mcm jatuh cinta..haha..
seyes ni..I want to be close n have friend to who I interested with..not other bad thing...
I dream to see her again n hang out with her..I really wish to have my own car..

oh hai!!

dah lama x menulis blog..huhu, masuk clinical ni best, xbyk lecture sgt tapi kena slalo pegi hospital..
learn from the bedside is the best way in medicine,..
I really want to be top student..bkan nak bangga tapi..at this time, I don't like when doctor angry to me when I don't know n I hate people look down on me..
that's why I've to study..the responsible that I have beside me..my future is waiting for me...
When I look at my lovely friend, sometime I feel she's so kind to me...It must be she wnt me lend my shoulder..
hahaha..
nowadays I realize..I should not to be ssoo kind to people..I should give my love to someone love me..
huhu..let's fighting..fight for my own dream

hadapi rasa takut

I'm afraid nowadays..lack of confident.. how can I present my case if I still in that condition..
I wish to be confident..That's why I have to improve my knowledge.. no matter what happen..
I must increase my knowlegde..If I have that confidently I can present.. salah xpe..
it's a process of learning..bahsyah!!

pagoh 2

kali kedua ak dah pegi pagoh, banyak pengalaman yg telah ak dapat
walaupun penat tapi sangat bez..family angkat aku pn sangat baik..
ak harap ak dapat jadi seorang doktor yang berjaya..
Aja Aja Fighting..

focus on study

mlm ni saye nekad nak focus study jek, sye taw kdang2 asyik t'igt jek..
tp sye dah msg die, tye die same ade sye ad wat die marah ke. die xbalas..
ble kami t'pndang satu sama lain, saye tgk die cam marah je kat sye.. sbb sye tgk die ke..
saye pn xtaw pe masalah nye..klu kami b'dua jek, die dah xnk b'dua jek..
alaa..nape? kita same2 prmpuan..bkn nye saye nak wat pape pn kat die..
skrg dah jd kekok..klu sye wat biase2 jek, die plak yg pelik..
saye dah tye mcm2 kat die, tp die xreply....xpe saye bg die mase..
nape, xkn xnk kawan dah..takot? saye xwt pape pn..
td pn saye msg ag,,tye marah ke die...tp die xreply..
emm xpelah..sape la sye ni kn.. umpama, ble diperlukan panggil, klu dah xnak buang..
kite kwn je..bknnye ad pape pn..xpe..u wt keje u..i wat keje i..
come on!!! focus study..if long ago, u can forget her..sekarang pn msti boleh..
bz kn diri sndiri sampai bleh lupekan die..

pagoh, johor

saya baru saje balik dari pagoh.. program anak angkat..
family angkat saye bek sgt..
saye wat health screening kat sane..byk pengalaman, improve communication skill
byk lg yg perlu belajar...
saye ingn pergi lg..utk menimba ilmu..

my dear friend,you have advantage

My dear friend, you have a lot of advantage..
u don't feel lonely, there are lots of people surround you will comfort you, have fun with you, want to be friends with u..
If u need help, many of them willing to help u either u ask them or they offer themself to help u include me...
If u feel sick, many of them will show their care..I'm the one also be too care about u, I don't know weather u realize it or not...
If u have problem, feel so stress, want to cry..all of them willing lend u a shoulder..
yes, of course..one of them is include me..I want to hear ur problem..
Either study or anything u do, u get lots of benefit with lots people stay beside you..
I know u have such easy life, will u think about other people?..
when I rewind back what I do, why I do so much for you? are u care about me?...
day by day..I see u such a different person, if a moment ago, u want to study with me.. now not..
u don't see me...
at last..I'm the one getting hurt so much... Why I'm thinking so much about u?
I think I' m really comfortable with u,I'm close to u...
I think u'r my best friend till I blind to see other friends' goodness to me..
If I know It's going to be like this..I won't be so close to u.. I won't put my love to u..

hurt..hurt..hurt..
Nuha..please be strong..after this, I don't know how can I see u, meet u...
I wish I can be peace and put our best memory together again..
I wish u won't leave me behind after what u do to me..

stress

stress... why..because can't focus study...
relax...
rase cam nak lari dengan gembira..

emm.. nak tendang bola macam ni?

nak jerit? surely mmber t'kejut haha

nak main basikal lah? tp xde..

or nak nangis? haha mne bleh kuar air mata..

nak study macam ni or yang ni

then dah penat..nak golek lepas senang hati, dapat tido ngn tenang

haha..merepek je.. k lah hanako..let's study! bercinta ngan buku malam ni.. heee ^^ happy studying

don't be jealous but believe in yourself

A moment where I'm blur start in clinical year..haha.. Don't know how to study, what I am suppose to do.. history taking??? Is it the correct way to do physical examination..emm how eh nak explain kat patient..kna translate plak.. present case, is it enough information?? anatomy, physiology, pathology..huhuhu.. the most important is communication skills..scared jgk..

"Bersusah-susah dahulu, Bersenang-senang kemudian"
Mengaku..mmg agak mencabar life clinical ni, clerking patient..then stdy about the case..
sometime ble tgk member yang expert jek..jealous gak..tapi don't put that jealous towards negative..
be positive, if they can, so do I.. each person has her/his own ability, you still have good in something.. Nevermind learn from others and improve yourself..study group ke, klu xtaw..belajar dari kawan yang tahu.. yang pandai tu bermurah hati la mengajar kawan tu..remember one day, you'll need each other...
believe in yourself..you can do it...maybe more better..hidup ni ibarat roda, ada masa nya kita berada di atas cemerlang, ad jgk satu masa kita akn jatuh... berdoa lah pada Allah, moga dipermudahkan segala urusan dan mencapai kejayaan..

Aja! Aja! Fighting! I Dream High...

chayok!!!

o.k..pe nak tulis

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let my anger go..whatever I angry with..just let go..

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please be happy..

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think for my future..try my best..chayok!!!

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can i cry because of u...

my dear blog..
i'm such in pain, heart broken..why? bcoz of a friend that I love so much.
I put so much effort, help her..being so kind...when something happen make me hurt, pretend it was not..
I listen well to her when She had problem, I try to make her laugh hopefully can reduce her stress..
Can you do the same thing to me? only ask one thing help me in my study? will u?
If u can't listen to me as well as how I listen to u, If u can't sacrifice yourself just like how I sacrifice my time for u, will u do just one thing for me by helping me in study?...
I don't want  u to repay back my kindness, everything I do sincerely just for u.. but I'm just manusia biasa, not perfect at all, need help, need love from someone tittled 'friend'.
a moment ago, u said to me, when I had problem, she can lend me her shoulder... I wonder nowadays, if she change to selfish one since life is going to be busy..I wish she'll not be that..No..she is not selfish..

I don't know what people say to me about this type of small thing, I know at this moment I shouldn't think so much about it..I'm not perfect..still have emotion, I'm not easily feeling sad or cry because of someone.. only certain people can make me feel this way..

my best friend(exroomate during matrix) said to me" u shouldn't be sooo kind, can be kind tp b'pada2"
I reply " I try to control but sddenly I'm too kind"..she said that's the problem..
I don't know how she can understand me very well in a short moment we were together..
 Thanks my friends, my blog...Aja! Aja! Fighting!..hope tomorrow will be better than today..

1st week sem

Medical posting!!! next surgery posting!!!
This is the 1st time i'm having real life of medical student and future doctor...watch and learn everything in the hospital, great experience..thanks supervisor cz not easily angry to me during my presentation case and also when I suddenly call up to do cranial nerve physical examination.. I really do my best,still in learning process..
just one week lots of thing I learn, need to do more practice..practice..and practice...
' PRACTICE MAKE PERFECT'
2-3 days I took patients history and at night learn about disease..understand well, practice physical examination..
sometime feel not enough sleep and wonder how can I rmmber everything in my mind..I wish I can absorb everything during lecture so  I can make revision other thing..'sabar' n always think positive..
It is my responsible as medical student to study...
CHAYOK!!! AJA!AJA!FIGHTING!!!!

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hard or not..

new sem already begin and it seems become more and more harder.. need to put a million effort to succeed

history taking and physical examination need to study.. from william osler said that bedside study is suitable place to study medicine rather than classroom..

need to focus listening and watching surrounding..this is not easy as you think..I must have my strenght to going through all this..no more cry but try the best this journey that already I chose long ago, no more turning back, just to fix any weakness and improve myself..be strong girl.. my way of life is going to be different from before.. busy life but still can enjoy what life is..Deep in my heart, I fear..still wondering that can I do that job?... till I find the answer..I read a book, borrowed from my friend " keep your fear in yourself but share your inspiration to others".. I agree that statement..time to be independent...^^

Actually..there's not a thing that I want to write..there's someone that in my mind why??..I though I won't be same group wth  someone.. maybe it's time for me to be good wth someone.. let bygone be bygone, although still uncomfortable...still try..pasti ada hikmahnya..why someone keep near to me.. and how to fix my emo..

just focus on my study..focus the most important one..when think about study,of course..I remember studymate..huhu that person, i always study with her..emm I miss study with her..can I?. I wish although I and her in different group, we can still study together.. ^^ Hanako! HAPPY STUDYING ^^

from a song..

dream high

I Dream high, 

I have a dream

When it gets hard,I close my eyes

While replaying the moment, my dreams come true..

I get up,I keep going

I shake in the face of fear

today as well

I'm afraid to fly

in fear of falling down

like a young bird..

I keep on asking

whether I can do this,

whether my dreams can come true

Whenever I make a step, step by step

Again,

the fear comes back,

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard,I close my eyes

while replaying the moment, my dreams come true

I get up,I keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before

I need courage to help me get up

Brush the dust off and need the courage which would make me jump up again..

Believing in myself,

I'll in my destiny once again

risking everything

I'll jump over the wall higher than myself..

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard, I close my eyes

while replaying the moment my dreams come true..

Again..

I get up and keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before..

Dream high, a chance to fly high

From now to all the pain bye bye

Try and fly as high as those stars in the sky

Watch your dream unfold, time for you to shine

It's the start, get to make them mine

Don't be afraid of building your own future

Walk on confidently with all your might..

Destiny is your fate

Unstoppable destiny is spreading in front of us

This is a whole new fantasy for you

so, just take my hand

our goal now is the same

Don't give up on your dreams and future

everyone here with youthful passion..

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard, I close my eyes

while replaying the moment, my dreams come true..

I get up,I keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before..

nape nervous??

myspace glitters

kejap je masa berlalu, 2,3 hari lagi aku pulang ke kolej..perasaan??
emm cuak laaa..macam2 fikir..dah ready utk clinical? ak igt lagi ke yang dah belajar tu? ada orang nak tolong ak ke masa tu? cuak kena marah...klu suh present case, brani kah ak?

sepanjang cuti ni, ak try buang perasaan takut, b'hadapan dgn org..
tapi perasaan tetap ada..
I wonder How I did for my pass that I became brave without worry, more confident than now..
maybe bcoz lots of hard thing I had gone through alone,sadness make me to motivate myself to be strong..I think that' s my strenght..

Now,although i change to cheerful person, not abuot to be brave.. ni cabaran yang bakal d'hadapi..
I wish to be brave..I wish to be confident with myself...

myspace layouts

cuppycake

Saya suka ni..haha..macam kanak2 jek

friendship,love and loyalty

saye nak crite 3 bnda ni cz sbb 3 tu saye sdih n sbb tu jgk saye epy..



doctor ratings

bcoz of my past, I become fear..
becoz of them I don't want to get close to friend..
becoz of them, I don't trust friend...

when we talk about friendship, lots of words can describe it. To me, a friend is someone that can share with us joy and tear..help each other..someone that can be trust to tell problem.. someone that can be a good listener..someone that want her friend happy..

Saye mengambil masa yang lama utk sesuaikn diri, dulu slalo alone..but now i'm o.k
Thanks coz bring my happiness back



photo rating

Love my family and friend..saye nak cite pasal cinta btween man and lady
huhu..xpe kn...I don't have any man,just kawan je banyak..huhu
dah biase kawan dengan laki tapi untuk ambil sbgai teman idup not yet..
haha..xnk la ckp pnjang2 t'tbe rase cam xboleh cite detail kat sini
cuma 1 je, kalau boleh nak lelaki tu ikhlas terima saye seadanya,forever want to be wth me, bertolak ansur..nak gentleman.yg penting sekali beragama..boleh berbincang..
haha..byk plak
I wish I can get my dream man..

LASTLY...



doctor reviews

rather than that 3,I choose loyalty..why?why?why?
bile kita setia,scara automatik wujud love,friend
kdang2 ada je, kata love u but the end,tggalkan jgk..
I think I'm loyal person hehe bkn nak bangga tp maybe..
long ago, i kept loyal to my bez friend, at the end she abandoned me..
although everything I did just for her..emm that's why I still fear..
Sekarng pun still macam ni..ada kawan yang saya boleh setia dengannya..ble dah jnji, of course I can keep that promise..
If to a friend I can be loyal.. of course to someone that I love, I'm sure do the same thing or more..
that so much thing in my mind..want to speak out but actually can't..

Spend time with family

Assalamualaikum..
Today saje tinker bell nk story..

glitter-graphics.com

hehe..I went to visit my brother at MRSM kepala batas, dah lame xjumpe.. kalo saya tak balik,dworg slalo tnye ble balik..huhu..melayan karenah adik2.. bawak adik2 p shopping
sorg amik tu amik nie, then habis penuh 1 troly, layan adik paling kecik nak ULTRAMAN!!!
woo.. die mmg suka ultraman..btter bwk die pusing2 ikut jalan lain haha..bkn xnak bagi kat rumah dah banyak dah..macam2 karenah..it's o.k,bknnye slalo..huhu..adik saya sorg lg balik asrama esok.. emm wat makaroni bakar,xtaw la mnjadi ke x hihihi.. good luck utk die thn nie SPM..
whatever..amik peluang ble still ada masa

glitter-graphics.com

on the way balik..from far can watched my KMPP..miss that moment,exroomate saya yg ceria, classmate saya ygb'semangat n groupmate saya yg rajin..

k..that's all huhu

writing here whenever feel to write

I'm always thinking..sometime while sitting do nothing,i think..watch other people doing, I think why? what?..huhu,maybe it's part of my hobby hahaha, of course it contribute a little bit stress for me..
if long ago, I can hide it well my worry , my sadness and my lonely
nowadays,it looks clear show on my face..hahaha..
It's hurt, pretend it not..it doesn't look fine, it's fine.. haha
actually everything I do,ikhlas...
when I want to get angry , btter hide it from all cause I don't want to hurt them, violently hahaha..
I think I'm a good listener,but I'm not really good communicate to other..practice make perfect.
I like to hear other people problem..I wish I can help them...
emm haha pe sebenarnya nie..dah merepek panjang..


o.k..perkara sebenarnya..this place suitable for me to tell what i think,my opinion, my mood..
kadang2 xsemua kita boleh harapkan untuk sedia mendengar pe yg kita cakap..they said it's o.k to tell story to them, but actually not.. I don't like to make others worry about me.. sometimes I realize I care too much about others than myself...hahaha..I think It is my stlye although I try hard to change, at the end I still care.. I wish want to be good to someone I love but If that person uncomfortable..btter silently care..no matter as long as my friend I care. just different in care or too care..I'm not choosy person, but sometime it come to my habit, I'll choose someone that I feel comfortable with...
hahaha.... banyak nak cerita..bleh story kat sini..huhu
k..

he is my favourite

I'm in HOLIDAY!!! time ni banyak free time,isi ngan benda2 b'faedah kalau boleh huhu.. nk study?? emm later lah huhu, rest for few days,nak masuk 3rd year of course need preparation..at that time study by ownself is needed..o.k2 not to think about it..this entry nak cite lah seorg guy from japan..hehe I'm always watch korean and japan drama but xdelah sampai minat sgt2, nak tgk gmbar ke, xt'effect pn oleh their looking..tapi dia ni,first time I saw in detective Q drama, suka tgk dia sorg jek


cute...huhu



YAMADA RYOSUKE!! suka tgk cite korea lastly japan jgk ak pilih
salah satu lagu die aku suka AISHITERU (I'm in love)



huhu..bye2

My Hometown

I'm at home now!! yippi!! seronok kan..haha dah lama xbalik rumah, slalo terperap kat kolej jek ( actually xde sgt, haha slalo jek kuar ^^) emm on the way pulang tu, sempat la usha2 berbagai2 ragam manusia.. sementara menunggu bas tu, ad yg datang kat ak mntak jwab questionare..haha..aku baru jek settle research, xpela ak memahami keadaan die klu kita menolak p'mntaan die..dgn sabar n tekun ak jawab.. then ak t'pndg seorg uncle nak bukak pntu, xtaw mcm mane..huhu..tlog gk..smbil bca buku tu, tgk keadaan sekeliling..best..
huhu..lam bas, penat sgt..tido2 ZZZZzzzzzzzzz
At home, seronok jmpe adik2 kecik ak comel..haha..hari ni penat..melayan karenah dworg.. hahaha.. just take the chance, xtaw la lg ble bleh blik ag..maybe aftr this buzy..so nk rehat puas2 tp xde la nk m'gemokkn bdn.. i think my body already add some fat..huhu..let's exercise!!!
alright.. good night..


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sudah sekian lama

dah lama sya xbkak blog nie, npe? npe?..sbab sya ingat blog nie dah pupus..lpas tengok kawan2 punye blog rase nk plak ad blog sndiri..cari2..haa jmpe..huhu..so xperlu wat blog baru..
em.. hari ni agak kebosanan, research dah settle..huhu xtaw nak watpe..