hadapi rasa takut

I'm afraid nowadays..lack of confident.. how can I present my case if I still in that condition..
I wish to be confident..That's why I have to improve my knowledge.. no matter what happen..
I must increase my knowlegde..If I have that confidently I can present.. salah xpe..
it's a process of learning..bahsyah!!

pagoh 2

kali kedua ak dah pegi pagoh, banyak pengalaman yg telah ak dapat
walaupun penat tapi sangat bez..family angkat aku pn sangat baik..
ak harap ak dapat jadi seorang doktor yang berjaya..
Aja Aja Fighting..

focus on study

mlm ni saye nekad nak focus study jek, sye taw kdang2 asyik t'igt jek..
tp sye dah msg die, tye die same ade sye ad wat die marah ke. die xbalas..
ble kami t'pndang satu sama lain, saye tgk die cam marah je kat sye.. sbb sye tgk die ke..
saye pn xtaw pe masalah nye..klu kami b'dua jek, die dah xnk b'dua jek..
alaa..nape? kita same2 prmpuan..bkn nye saye nak wat pape pn kat die..
skrg dah jd kekok..klu sye wat biase2 jek, die plak yg pelik..
saye dah tye mcm2 kat die, tp die xreply....xpe saye bg die mase..
nape, xkn xnk kawan dah..takot? saye xwt pape pn..
td pn saye msg ag,,tye marah ke die...tp die xreply..
emm xpelah..sape la sye ni kn.. umpama, ble diperlukan panggil, klu dah xnak buang..
kite kwn je..bknnye ad pape pn..xpe..u wt keje u..i wat keje i..
come on!!! focus study..if long ago, u can forget her..sekarang pn msti boleh..
bz kn diri sndiri sampai bleh lupekan die..

pagoh, johor

saya baru saje balik dari pagoh.. program anak angkat..
family angkat saye bek sgt..
saye wat health screening kat sane..byk pengalaman, improve communication skill
byk lg yg perlu belajar...
saye ingn pergi lg..utk menimba ilmu..

my dear friend,you have advantage

My dear friend, you have a lot of advantage..
u don't feel lonely, there are lots of people surround you will comfort you, have fun with you, want to be friends with u..
If u need help, many of them willing to help u either u ask them or they offer themself to help u include me...
If u feel sick, many of them will show their care..I'm the one also be too care about u, I don't know weather u realize it or not...
If u have problem, feel so stress, want to cry..all of them willing lend u a shoulder..
yes, of course..one of them is include me..I want to hear ur problem..
Either study or anything u do, u get lots of benefit with lots people stay beside you..
I know u have such easy life, will u think about other people?..
when I rewind back what I do, why I do so much for you? are u care about me?...
day by day..I see u such a different person, if a moment ago, u want to study with me.. now not..
u don't see me...
at last..I'm the one getting hurt so much... Why I'm thinking so much about u?
I think I' m really comfortable with u,I'm close to u...
I think u'r my best friend till I blind to see other friends' goodness to me..
If I know It's going to be like this..I won't be so close to u.. I won't put my love to u..

hurt..hurt..hurt..
Nuha..please be strong..after this, I don't know how can I see u, meet u...
I wish I can be peace and put our best memory together again..
I wish u won't leave me behind after what u do to me..

stress

stress... why..because can't focus study...
relax...
rase cam nak lari dengan gembira..

emm.. nak tendang bola macam ni?

nak jerit? surely mmber t'kejut haha

nak main basikal lah? tp xde..

or nak nangis? haha mne bleh kuar air mata..

nak study macam ni or yang ni

then dah penat..nak golek lepas senang hati, dapat tido ngn tenang

haha..merepek je.. k lah hanako..let's study! bercinta ngan buku malam ni.. heee ^^ happy studying

don't be jealous but believe in yourself

A moment where I'm blur start in clinical year..haha.. Don't know how to study, what I am suppose to do.. history taking??? Is it the correct way to do physical examination..emm how eh nak explain kat patient..kna translate plak.. present case, is it enough information?? anatomy, physiology, pathology..huhuhu.. the most important is communication skills..scared jgk..

"Bersusah-susah dahulu, Bersenang-senang kemudian"
Mengaku..mmg agak mencabar life clinical ni, clerking patient..then stdy about the case..
sometime ble tgk member yang expert jek..jealous gak..tapi don't put that jealous towards negative..
be positive, if they can, so do I.. each person has her/his own ability, you still have good in something.. Nevermind learn from others and improve yourself..study group ke, klu xtaw..belajar dari kawan yang tahu.. yang pandai tu bermurah hati la mengajar kawan tu..remember one day, you'll need each other...
believe in yourself..you can do it...maybe more better..hidup ni ibarat roda, ada masa nya kita berada di atas cemerlang, ad jgk satu masa kita akn jatuh... berdoa lah pada Allah, moga dipermudahkan segala urusan dan mencapai kejayaan..

Aja! Aja! Fighting! I Dream High...

chayok!!!

o.k..pe nak tulis

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let my anger go..whatever I angry with..just let go..

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please be happy..

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think for my future..try my best..chayok!!!

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can i cry because of u...

my dear blog..
i'm such in pain, heart broken..why? bcoz of a friend that I love so much.
I put so much effort, help her..being so kind...when something happen make me hurt, pretend it was not..
I listen well to her when She had problem, I try to make her laugh hopefully can reduce her stress..
Can you do the same thing to me? only ask one thing help me in my study? will u?
If u can't listen to me as well as how I listen to u, If u can't sacrifice yourself just like how I sacrifice my time for u, will u do just one thing for me by helping me in study?...
I don't want  u to repay back my kindness, everything I do sincerely just for u.. but I'm just manusia biasa, not perfect at all, need help, need love from someone tittled 'friend'.
a moment ago, u said to me, when I had problem, she can lend me her shoulder... I wonder nowadays, if she change to selfish one since life is going to be busy..I wish she'll not be that..No..she is not selfish..

I don't know what people say to me about this type of small thing, I know at this moment I shouldn't think so much about it..I'm not perfect..still have emotion, I'm not easily feeling sad or cry because of someone.. only certain people can make me feel this way..

my best friend(exroomate during matrix) said to me" u shouldn't be sooo kind, can be kind tp b'pada2"
I reply " I try to control but sddenly I'm too kind"..she said that's the problem..
I don't know how she can understand me very well in a short moment we were together..
 Thanks my friends, my blog...Aja! Aja! Fighting!..hope tomorrow will be better than today..

1st week sem

Medical posting!!! next surgery posting!!!
This is the 1st time i'm having real life of medical student and future doctor...watch and learn everything in the hospital, great experience..thanks supervisor cz not easily angry to me during my presentation case and also when I suddenly call up to do cranial nerve physical examination.. I really do my best,still in learning process..
just one week lots of thing I learn, need to do more practice..practice..and practice...
' PRACTICE MAKE PERFECT'
2-3 days I took patients history and at night learn about disease..understand well, practice physical examination..
sometime feel not enough sleep and wonder how can I rmmber everything in my mind..I wish I can absorb everything during lecture so  I can make revision other thing..'sabar' n always think positive..
It is my responsible as medical student to study...
CHAYOK!!! AJA!AJA!FIGHTING!!!!

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hard or not..

new sem already begin and it seems become more and more harder.. need to put a million effort to succeed

history taking and physical examination need to study.. from william osler said that bedside study is suitable place to study medicine rather than classroom..

need to focus listening and watching surrounding..this is not easy as you think..I must have my strenght to going through all this..no more cry but try the best this journey that already I chose long ago, no more turning back, just to fix any weakness and improve myself..be strong girl.. my way of life is going to be different from before.. busy life but still can enjoy what life is..Deep in my heart, I fear..still wondering that can I do that job?... till I find the answer..I read a book, borrowed from my friend " keep your fear in yourself but share your inspiration to others".. I agree that statement..time to be independent...^^

Actually..there's not a thing that I want to write..there's someone that in my mind why??..I though I won't be same group wth  someone.. maybe it's time for me to be good wth someone.. let bygone be bygone, although still uncomfortable...still try..pasti ada hikmahnya..why someone keep near to me.. and how to fix my emo..

just focus on my study..focus the most important one..when think about study,of course..I remember studymate..huhu that person, i always study with her..emm I miss study with her..can I?. I wish although I and her in different group, we can still study together.. ^^ Hanako! HAPPY STUDYING ^^

from a song..

dream high

I Dream high, 

I have a dream

When it gets hard,I close my eyes

While replaying the moment, my dreams come true..

I get up,I keep going

I shake in the face of fear

today as well

I'm afraid to fly

in fear of falling down

like a young bird..

I keep on asking

whether I can do this,

whether my dreams can come true

Whenever I make a step, step by step

Again,

the fear comes back,

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard,I close my eyes

while replaying the moment, my dreams come true

I get up,I keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before

I need courage to help me get up

Brush the dust off and need the courage which would make me jump up again..

Believing in myself,

I'll in my destiny once again

risking everything

I'll jump over the wall higher than myself..

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard, I close my eyes

while replaying the moment my dreams come true..

Again..

I get up and keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before..

Dream high, a chance to fly high

From now to all the pain bye bye

Try and fly as high as those stars in the sky

Watch your dream unfold, time for you to shine

It's the start, get to make them mine

Don't be afraid of building your own future

Walk on confidently with all your might..

Destiny is your fate

Unstoppable destiny is spreading in front of us

This is a whole new fantasy for you

so, just take my hand

our goal now is the same

Don't give up on your dreams and future

everyone here with youthful passion..

I dream high

I have a dream

When It gets hard, I close my eyes

while replaying the moment, my dreams come true..

I get up,I keep going

I can fly high, I believe that..

one day..into the sky

I'll spread my wings

I fly up higher than anyone before..